Pocket worthyStories to fuel your mind

My Joy List: Freddy McConnell

The journalist and dad, who starred in the documentary “Seahorse,” finds joy in a cricketing podcast, being a “bread bore,” and more.

Freddy McConnell

Read when you’ve got time to spare.

Becoming a dad is a major event in anyone’s life, but not usually documentary-worthy. Unless, that is, you’re a transgender man giving birth in our society today. That was Freddy McConnell’s experience in 2018, and his journey was the focus of the acclaimed documentary, Seahorse. In sharing his story so publicly, Freddy has sought to make trans parents more visible, and expand our notions of what parenting and pregnancy look like. His goal is to eventually make trans parenthood unremarkable—just one of many diverse ways to be a family. With his VICE column, podcast, and Instagram full of sweet family moments, he’s showing us all how to achieve that goal beautifully.

As a parent, now of 2 children, it’s no surprise that Freddy’s joy list includes an episode of Bluey and a song about the many forms family can take. Read on for more of his joyful picks.

The Darkness [WATCH]

Freddy McConnell: “I never fully committed to Youtube’s video-essay moment, known among fans as ‘BreadTube’. But ContraPoints’ early-mid output contained such compelling gender and identity politics critiques that its creator, Natalie Wynn, earned hours of my attention. This relatively short video analyses a) why transphobic comedy isn’t funny, and b) why trans comedy can be so profoundly funny and sad at the same time. Come for the takes, stay for the bonkers production values.”

Bluey: “Bin Night” [WATCH]

FM: “I’m a dad, so I’m obsessed with Bluey. And my kids are kids, so they are too, even the one-year-old. This episode, which focuses on the weekly ritual of putting the bins (trash?) out is as relatable as it is original. Just as you’re feeling comforted by the uncanny familiarity of their sweet little routine, an insight about parenting you never thought to have will knock you sideways, crying or laughing or both.”

Country Bread Recipe

FM: “Yeah, I baked sourdough during lockdown. Yeah, I loved the process and slicing open each new loaf to inspect ‘the crumb’. Yes, reader, I was a bread bore. But, but! This recipe by Tartine, which I discovered thanks to my stepdad and his tatty, secondhand copy of their big bread book, is genuinely accessible and worth the moderate level of commitment, if you’ve ever been sourdough-curious.”

Trans Safety Network

FM: “This tiny non-profit will one day be recognised as brilliant and essential in its time. TSN is doing the work no other organisation has the expertise, insight, commitment or forethought to: writing detailed explainers and debunkings of the most complex and insidious aspects of the UK’s anti-trans implosion. As a weary trans person in the UK, I find their articles cathartic. And if anyone with any real power cares to understand the mess this country has got itself in over trans rights, it’s all here. They only have to want to look.”

It’s All Family [LISTEN]

FM: “We love singing this song on car journeys. Sometimes ‘big ideas’ aren’t immediate enough to help kids feel included or represented in the world, especially those whose families look a bit different. Sure, you can sing about love and everyone being equal, but have you ever tried belting out ‘I love my foster mother, I love my two sweet fathers, I love my new step daughter, I love my pet otter!’? I highly recommend it.”

Watch the It’s All Family music video here.

Badass Mother Birther

FM: “This Instagram account was a big part of preparing to give birth to my second kid. I wanted to get used to seeing birth, in all its forms, to help build my confidence and just to normalise the process in my mind. It really worked! I don’t think it should be shocking, much less offensive, to see a baby’s head crowning or a newborn taking a little while to start breathing on their own—these normal things that are literally hidden from us, even from those of us capable of pregnancy. My eldest loved watching too. He had so many questions and I was able to practise not shying away from them. I’m so glad platforms like this exist now.”

Tailenders: Our Jimmy and General Cricketing Sadness [LISTEN]

FM: “This is probably my most niche link of joy, which I realise sounds like a bold claim after everything above. But this is a cricket podcast and, specifically, a classic episode (if you started here, you could enjoy slowing making your way up to date). I know I said ‘cricket’ but stay with me because, like all the best podcasts, it’s not really about what it says it’s about (see also, Tig and Cheryl: True Story.) This is a show about loving something inexplicable and loving it inexplicably. It’s about human connection and really giving a sh*t. They’re also on a mission to highlight how inclusive the sport of cricket actually is, despite its stereotypical image. It’s the epitome of joyous.”

Ready for More Joy?

Explore Joy Lists from Zeke Smith, Jazz Jennings, and more.

Freddy McConnell

Freddy McConnell is a Peabody Award-winning journalist, writer and speaker. In 2018, he became a dad and shared his experience of pregnancy as a transgender man in the BBC documentary, Seahorse. He has made podcasts and written a column about queer parenting. He is a host for Vice World News’ Transnational and a committed campaigner for LGBT+ equality, in particular the rights of trans people and their families.